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Week 9

Sometimes God places us in seasons we don't feel equipped to handle. When Eli was born and the nurse told us we could take him home I'll never forget the look on our faces when we asked the nurse, "So what now?" Her reply, "you take him home." Us, "Don't you want to do a drug screen or something?" The nurse, "nope, as long as you have a car seat he's free to go home with you." Us, "that's it... really because we got denied on an application to adopt a dog." She laughs, "Yes that's it. Good luck!

Parenthood will do that to you. You are called to this incredible responsibility and have no real manual to use. You don't feel ready or worthy to be responsible for such a giant task! 

For example, our first night home Oscar's parents met us at home to welcome us and Eli into this new chapter. After getting settled his parents left. About 20 minutes after they left we called his mom to come back because Eli had gotten out of his swaddle blanket. As any good Abuela would, she came back and swaddled him again and then left. It was in that moment it hit me. I am a mom and this beautiful boy is mine and I have no idea what I'm doing… And to be real, I still don't know most days. We call our parenting style trial and error. If it works we keep doing it, if it doesn’t we note the error make adjustments and try something new. 

I have so many funny new mom stories. Some that will make any new mom feel better about her attempt at motherhood. I was not ready for the motherhood adventure but man it has grown me in ways I never thought possible. Eli has held me accountable in areas I don't necessarily want to always be held accountable. Eli has taught me to forgive quickly and to love abundantly. Eli has shown me just a fragment of the amount of love my heavenly father has for me and y'all it is so breathtakingly beautiful.  

Unfortunately, not all women get the opportunity to experience the same motherhood I've experienced. I will never understand this side of heaven, why God takes some babies at such young ages. No parent should ever have to experience the grief of losing a child, no matter their age. October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. Statistically, 1 in 4 women suffer this loss. 1 in 4!  This week I would like to honor a fellow mom who has suffered 3 miscarriages but rejoices in the health of her son and the expectation of another baby boy on the way. Through all the struggles and the many tears Megan Little has made the brave choice to continue to shine light in the darkness. 

Megan and I aren't very close, but we have several close friends who connect us to each other. Today I honor her with these flowers because I felt she needed to be reminded that she is seen and she is loved. I know she would have written her story differently, but God has been faithful and will continue to bless her beyond all measure. She is such a kind soul and has a tremendous love for people. Megan, I want you know you are doing better and are stronger than you think. I hope these flowers bring you some joy and remind you; you are valued and you are loved. 

I pray you will "rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances."


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