Week 4 - Blessing #2:

***Disclaimer – Please remember I'm doing this to help grieve my mother and to restore something lost. This past week was a growing pain for me and I'm being very honest in this post. I've struggled with whether or not I should even post this entry. I've decided I need to stay committed and I need to share my journey because I agreed I would share. My prayer is simple I hope this story will impact your life today, because it forever changed mine.

Week 4: Blessing #2

Earlier this week I posted a story about my son Eli blessing a little girl at the grocery store. I knew I couldn’t really count his blessing as my own, although, I hoped I could.  Today is now Friday and we are getting close to the end of the week. I've been praying all week asking God to send me someone to bless. Send me someone, anyone to help.

You know the old saying, "be careful what you ask for?"

My very first blessing I told you a story about a guy who qualified for this taxi program I manage through my job. That first story tells you about the program and how it helps residents afford transportation. Well today one of my taxi participants called me to tell me she didn't have anything left to eat this month. She won't get her check again until next week and she was removed from food stamps; she doesn't know what she is going to eat. Initially my heart breaks for and I want to help but I struggle with this decision. I'm usually a sucker for a sad story and am ALWAYS eager to help.

However, today I was scared to help. What if this becomes a monthly, weekly, daily thing for me to feed this woman. What if one trip to the grocery store isn't enough? What if she starts to rely on me to buy her food? I don't want to become a crutch for this woman. Plus a part of me didn't want to be inconvenienced by having to care for another person. I know that sounds like a horrible thing to say. Although, sometimes when you work in a place where people take advantage of a good thing it's hard to not feel this at some point.

I think some of you might agree. You too have judged whether or not someone was worthy of your blessing, that we should only be helping the people who are willing to help themselves.

I knew I had to do something to help this woman. I couldn't let her go hungry. I started making phone calls to locate food banks and churches that have programs that might help her. Unfortunately, no one is open its Friday afternoon and most non-profits go home early on Friday. I start talking with different co-workers and departments to see if anybody has a connection to one of these resources to see if they can help me out. Luckily, for me a girl who works across the hall knows of a food pantry through her church. She gets on the phone with the director of the pantry and the lady agrees to meet me at the pantry to give me some food for my participant.

I'm not going to lie to you at this point I'm still struggling with this, part of me still doesn't want to take her the food. I don't know if I can do this every month. My mind keeps going to these dark places.  

 That's when I was reminded "Judge not…" Matthew 7:1

I'd like to think of myself as a good person. I mean I've started blessing people, I go to church, and I pay my taxes. Then it hit me. This isn’t about me! This isn’t about the number of people I bless. Or how many Sunday's I've been to church. This isn't even about being a good citizen. Today is about a woman who is hungry and just needs something to eat, regardless of her situation or how she got there. Ouch! That hurt and was a hard pill for me to swallow.  

To make a long story short, we found a resource and I was given 2 bags of food and some toiletries. The woman who runs this resource is fantastic and is doing such a great thing for our community. They help feed and clothe hundreds of people every week and don't charge them a dime to do it. Their program is completely funded by donations to the church, no grants, no federal money, just donations.

I tell her my frustration with this particular story and that's when she looks at me and says, "We are asked to give to whoever needs."

Dang! Jesus, this is a growing pain. I know there are people out there who are taking advantage of the system, and it is becoming a financial drain on our society. However, at the end of the day, regardless of your situation I know in my heart what Jesus would do. He would feed this woman and would continue to feed her until she's full. I agreed to bless the people he has placed in my life. I never once thought I would struggle to bless someone.

My husband went with me to this woman's home. I knocked on the door and waited for her to answer. I gave her the bags of food and we chatted for a few minutes. She was very thankful for the food gave me a hug and I started to walk away. As I was leaving she yelled for me. She stopped me to give me a magnet she had made. It was a magnet with a sweet poem about an angel God had sent. Part of the poem reads:

And so you came from Heaven as the answer to my prayer,

And changed my world forever…

Talk about a knife to the chest. Here I was complaining about helping her. Yet she was kind enough to offer me a thank you gift. I told her that wasn't necessary but she insisted it was the least she could do.

I will always treasure this magnet. It will forever be a reminder of how no matter the situation, and no matter how worthy or unworthy I feel a person might be, I'm going to continue to bless.

 

 

*If you live in Northwest Arkansas and would like to donate to the resource I used please contact me at jenniferchacon3@gmail.com. I will get you all of their contact information and let you know what they need.