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Week 4:

"If you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer. 
If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow."
A good friend of mine shared this quote on Facebook yesterday and y'all it couldn't be truer. I've often found myself in a place of hurt. Life didn't go as planned. Someone hurt me and it's not fair. Sometimes I've even felt as though God has hurt me. My prayer wasn't answered the way I had hoped or wanted. Basically, I'm selfish, I didn't get my way, or my expectations weren't met so now I'm hurt. 

Have any of you been there? In this place of why me? What did I do to deserve this? Am I really supposed to do this and if so, why is it so hard? Listen, that's a whole lot of "woe is me?"

However, I think even in the darkest hour there is still hope. I believe in order to see the hope we have to shift our focus. I believe in the suffering we have to ask the Lord to give us the strength to persevere. To look past the hurt, to forgive so we can heal, because if we don't we become trapped in a hopeless place and that place isn't where God intended for us to live. 

  • "Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:3 -5

  • "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance"  James 1:2-3 


For me it tends to be easier to focus on the negative and I've noticed certain people encourage the negativity. What's that phrase, "misery loves company?" It's so true, our culture is quick to defend the "victim" and shift blame to someone else. Society is quick to feed the lies of the enemy and agree that something or someone is unjust. We get so focused on the hurt we lose sight of the lesson. Hear my heart y'all, I'm not referring to actual victims of real physical, emotional, or sexual abuse that's an entirely different blog.  I'm talking about those of us who tend to throw a pity party every chance we get instead of taking ownership of our mistakes. This message might not ring true for you but it does for me, and is an honest conviction in my life. I've made it a bad habit to play victim. To work an angle to get pity because he hurt me, my mom died, or because I failed that math test again. Instead I should be saying God help me to forgive. Help me to focus on the blessings of those who are alive and the blessing of the memories of my mom. Father, give me the desire to want to learn math; help me shift my focus so that I may endure. So that whatever I do it will bring glory and honor to your name. 

  • "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord not for human masters." Colossians 3:23
  • "In conclusion, my friends fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable." Philippians 4:8


Those last 2 verses my best friend shared with me earlier this week, because I had a pity party about my frustrations. I love that God has given me a good support system based on love and truth. If you don't have friends who speak truth into your life when you are fighting a spiritual fight, you need new friends. I'll introduce you to mine! We all need to surround ourselves with people who will take the time to breathe life into us and who will fill our hearts, souls, and minds with truths. We can't do this alone, we aren't meant to do this alone. 

If you find yourself in this same place of keeping score on who has wronged you and how perfect you are and how imperfect they are; know this you will continue to suffer if you continue to hurt. It's time for both of us to release the pain and take a step forward in faith. It's time to seek the truth and to rebuke the lies. It's time to face the enemy and say, "I am a child of God and in the name of Jesus I rebuke thee!" A word of caution my friend, just because you say it doesn't mean the war is over. The enemy will continue to try and infect your life, your home, your marriage, your career, or anything else. Your weapon is truth and your armor is HIS word. 

God doesn't want us to live in hurt he wants us to grow from the pain. Believing in God is the easy part, walking in faith is the real test but that’s the part that teaches us perseverance. That's the growth, that's where the beauty of your story lies. Being a Christ follower means admitting you're human and doing your best to conquer life through a different perspective. A perspective based on truths, love, mercy, and grace; a whole lot of grace. You won't be perfect and neither will your life, but I promise you will learn to face the struggles of life in a new way.  

This week I had the honor of blessing a new friend. Meyby started working with me in March of this year and has blessed me every day since. She is such a joy and her characteristics are ones I want. She uplifts you and encourages you in the most sincere way. She is kind and gracious. She speaks truth over me, in the break room while getting our morning coffee nonetheless. I don't know her past but I know her present and her future are with the Lord and I know she has released her past hurts and she has grown in the Lord. She is beautiful on the inside and out. She has a servant's heart and is one of the most joyful persons I've ever met and I look forward to the possibility of a new friendship based on truths. 

Meyby, I hope these flowers remind you, that you are valued and loved. Your worth comes from the Lord. I pray you will "rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances." Thank you for walking in his ways and for being a light in a world of darkness. 

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