Week 1:

Hello! 

Take two: This is the second time I've started this post… I have so much to say but I'm not sure how to say it, which is shocking because I have a gift for always having something to say. I have this nagging voice in my head telling me to STOP, to stop writing, to stop blessing, to stop trying, to just stop. This voice wants me to give up. Good news is I don't want to and I'm not gonna! 

My original post this week was deleted because it was VERY negative, and honestly really whiny. That's an easy place to set up camp in. I've noticed recently in my life an attitude of "woe is me", which is unfortunate, because I'm not really a, "woe is me" person. I'm at my best when I'm fighting to prove people wrong, I like being the underdog and I love a challenge, mostly because I'm awesome and more people need to know this. This side of me is only this way because of the fire God put inside me. I also love when God gives me opportunities to encourage and love people the way he has loved me. Some things in life don't come easy to me… Growing up teachers never described me as the smartest or most gifted student; somewhat of a disappointment because my three older siblings were always GT (gifted and talented) students. School never came easy to me. I always had to work harder, study more, and I would still be average, at best. Fundamentals in reading, writing, math and science never came easy to me. I had to work at it. Growing up I could hear this same voice telling me to quit, telling me to just stop trying, because no matter how hard I tried I still wasn't enough. However, thankfully I also had another voice (my parents) telling me nothing worth having is easy to get. Mom always encouraged me to press forward to keep trying and that no matter what they (her and dad) would be proud as long as I did my best. I sometimes wish I can see myself through her eyes, and I know she wished the same. I know this because I'm a mom and there are moments when my boys have disappointments and all I want is for them to see what I see.   

See I'm not a writer; I'm not equipped to be a blogger. I'm really not! I'm just a simple girl who was diagnosed with dyslexia in the 9th grade. I shouldn't be doing this, but for some reason God wants me to share these next 52 weeks with you, so here goes here's my heart and my vulnerability. Here's what I believe God wants you and me to know. God wants us to see ourselves the way he sees us. The way any good parent looks at their child. He wants us to know he completes me and he can complete you. God wants me and you to know he loves us BIG! He wants me and you to know we are loved, we are valued and we are enough. God wants us to shift our focus. He wants me to stop blogging about my complaints, because he wants me to share the good instead. When you focus on the bad it's hard to be sincere about the good, and guys there is SO much GOOD! I know our world doesn't want you to see the good, but I promise it's there and if you can't find it buy someone some flowers and BE the good. 

We might not be able to change our circumstances and our circumstances might suck, and trust me I've been there, I get it. Sometimes life doesn't turn out like we planned, and we are a little disappointed with the outcome. It really stinks when the outcomes don't reflect our expectations. Again, I know, I've been there, I get it! I really do. At this point in my life I was supposed to be either saving the world or making enough money to hire my own superhero. Instead, I'm working in human resources full time while my husband helps me raise two of our very own superheroes. Don't get me wrong I'm incredibly thankful for my job and my family, but mom guilt is real and sometimes I hate having to work because I don't know if my time away from them is worth the struggle. However, I believe with my whole heart and with every breathe I take that God has given me and Oscar the most amazing little boys and it is our responsibility to raise these boys to be everything God has created them to be, and man talk about two underdogs not being equipped. We fail often at parenting, but we continue to learn from our mistakes and we never give up on our boys or each other, and I think that's all God wants from all of us. He wants us to not give up on him, on ourselves, or on the plans he has for us; he wants us to draw closer to him so he can draw closer to us. 

I don't know your circumstance. I don't know if you are in a season of discouragement or in a season of rejoicing but I do know regardless of the season there are blessings. 

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 

All that to say, this week I have decided to bless a woman who seems to know the Jesus my mom always talked about, a woman who lives each day to serve selflessly and expects nothing in return. She is joyful every morning, she prays frequently, and she is always thankful. She loves well and thinks I'm funny, both of which make me very happy! 

Mrs. Lori entered our lives the summer of 2016, when we placed both of our boys in daycare for the first time EVER. Prior to daycare Eli (my oldest) was always cared for by my mother in law, but once we had baby boy #2 Isaac we decided to place both boys in daycare. I knew Lori was going to love my children as her own I just didn't expect her to love me as her own too, but she has. I wanted and tried to not get attached to Mrs. Lori, but she didn't let me distance myself. She pried her way into my life and I'm eternally thankful.  

This woman deserves flowers every day of the week. She shines a light so bright for Jesus it's blinding. She is selfless, humble, beautiful (inside & out) and kind. She loves and supports my family as her own. She teaches my boys about Jesus. Her actions teach me how to be a better mom, wife, and Christian. 

The hardest decision in this journey has been to pick one person to bless because I want to bless you all. However, this week I just couldn't get Lori off my mind and I think it's because she reminds me so much of my own mom. I love her stories about the "strays" she's adopted into her home/family/life and I love that her heart is Christ centered. 

I don't know all of the details about her story but I do know that she loves Jesus, my kids and me. As a bonus she laughs at my jokes and vacuums my home. I hope these flowers remind her that she is loved, valued, and will always be enough. I pray that in every circumstance she will rejoice, pray, and give thanks, because God is good all the time.