When I began this journey I
prayed God would send me people who needed to be blessed. I never thought I
would be the one He chose to bless.
This past weekend my husband's
brother celebrated turning 21. He's a big fan of Formula 1; I guess it's like
the European version of NASCAR? Honestly, I don't know much about the sport or
if it's anything like NASCAR. They seem similar though, men driving cars in circles,
for several hours. Anyway, Formula 1 has agreed to have a race in Austin, TX
for ten years, I think? The guys went last year for his birthday because it was
the first year to have the race in the U.S. and Oscar agreed to go again this
year because he didn't want to miss his little brother's 21st birthday.
So this weekend it was just me
and my Eli. Not to brag but my son usually is pretty easy to take care of, he
doesn't cry very often, and he enjoys sleeping, my kind of kid. Well Eli is
close to turning 2 and this weekend I got to see firsthand why people call them
the "terrible 2's". I won't bore you with the details but Eli broke
my glasses, through fits all weekend, hit other kids, cried, cried, cried and
cried. I couldn't do much to make the situation better. I know I'm too young to
say this but I have a bad back, I mean can't get out of bed because of the
pain, bad back. I've been dealing with back issues for several years now. The
stress of having to care for Eli by myself the bending, picking up, holding,
and carrying really began to weigh in on my back. By Sunday (our worst day) I wasn't even able
to hold him. I felt like a complete failure as a mother. I couldn't play with
my son, hold him, carry him or really be a good mom. The pain was too much and
I was stressed and overwhelmed.
After having a pity party and
several texts with my sister a light was turned on. My sister gave me some of
the best advice she's ever given. She told me I needed to stop finding my worth
in my circumstances. What a beautiful statement! My worth comes from a much
deeper source, God created me for a specific purpose, and I can assure you it
wasn't to give me back pain or torture me. His word says he knows the plans for
my future and promises to keep me from harm.
I know this adventure is supposed
to be about helping other people but I think week 7 God needed to remind me
just how special and important I am. I play a role in his story because I am a
child of God. My role might not be as influential as Beth Moore's but mine
isn't any less important and neither is your role! Yes, I have back pain, and
yes, it makes my life a little difficult, but it doesn't take away my worth.
Nicole, you are truly a
remarkable woman. I know mom was proud of you when she was alive but I think
she is even more pleased with the growth you've achieved since her death. I am
honored to call you my favorite blood sister. Thank you for being an example of
what mom raised us to be, a woman of faith. You are about to begin a beautiful
journey where you will be able to shape and mold minds for our future. I truly
believe you will be a wonderful teacher; you'll have disappointments, and
victories. Which you'll be able to handle because you know your worth doesn't
lie within your circumstances but instead within your God. Thank you for blessing
me this week and for helping me not only become a better mom, but a better woman.
To my friend Christy thanks for
taking us in on Saturday we had a great time at your home; even though I was
scared for my life because you live in the middle of nowhere, Arkansas. You're a great friend and always a blessing in
my life.
To my husband, I don't think I
say this enough but thank you for everything you do to help with the house and
with Eli. You do more for us than most men do for their families. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. You are a wonderful man and I'm so thankful God gave me
you. I know I make your life more adventurous than you'd like, but I also know
you enjoy the adventure.
Also, if you are a single parent I applaud you. I have no idea how you do it! I couldn't even handle one weekend without my husband. I now hold single parents in a much higher regard than before. I've always respected a single parent but this weekend I was given a taste of your daily life and I admire each of you. Thank you for your willingness to do this without the help of a spouse.
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