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Week 7:

When I began this journey I prayed God would send me people who needed to be blessed. I never thought I would be the one He chose to bless.
 
This past weekend my husband's brother celebrated turning 21. He's a big fan of Formula 1; I guess it's like the European version of NASCAR? Honestly, I don't know much about the sport or if it's anything like NASCAR. They seem similar though, men driving cars in circles, for several hours. Anyway, Formula 1 has agreed to have a race in Austin, TX for ten years, I think? The guys went last year for his birthday because it was the first year to have the race in the U.S. and Oscar agreed to go again this year because he didn't want to miss his little brother's 21st birthday.
 
So this weekend it was just me and my Eli. Not to brag but my son usually is pretty easy to take care of, he doesn't cry very often, and he enjoys sleeping, my kind of kid. Well Eli is close to turning 2 and this weekend I got to see firsthand why people call them the "terrible 2's". I won't bore you with the details but Eli broke my glasses, through fits all weekend, hit other kids, cried, cried, cried and cried. I couldn't do much to make the situation better. I know I'm too young to say this but I have a bad back, I mean can't get out of bed because of the pain, bad back. I've been dealing with back issues for several years now. The stress of having to care for Eli by myself the bending, picking up, holding, and carrying really began to weigh in on my back.  By Sunday (our worst day) I wasn't even able to hold him. I felt like a complete failure as a mother. I couldn't play with my son, hold him, carry him or really be a good mom. The pain was too much and I was stressed and overwhelmed.
 
After having a pity party and several texts with my sister a light was turned on. My sister gave me some of the best advice she's ever given. She told me I needed to stop finding my worth in my circumstances. What a beautiful statement! My worth comes from a much deeper source, God created me for a specific purpose, and I can assure you it wasn't to give me back pain or torture me. His word says he knows the plans for my future and promises to keep me from harm.
 
I know this adventure is supposed to be about helping other people but I think week 7 God needed to remind me just how special and important I am. I play a role in his story because I am a child of God. My role might not be as influential as Beth Moore's but mine isn't any less important and neither is your role! Yes, I have back pain, and yes, it makes my life a little difficult, but it doesn't take away my worth.
 
Nicole, you are truly a remarkable woman. I know mom was proud of you when she was alive but I think she is even more pleased with the growth you've achieved since her death. I am honored to call you my favorite blood sister. Thank you for being an example of what mom raised us to be, a woman of faith. You are about to begin a beautiful journey where you will be able to shape and mold minds for our future. I truly believe you will be a wonderful teacher; you'll have disappointments, and victories. Which you'll be able to handle because you know your worth doesn't lie within your circumstances but instead within your God. Thank you for blessing me this week and for helping me not only become a better mom, but a better woman.
 
To my friend Christy thanks for taking us in on Saturday we had a great time at your home; even though I was scared for my life because you live in the middle of nowhere, Arkansas. You're a great friend and always a blessing in my life.
 
To my husband, I don't think I say this enough but thank you for everything you do to help with the house and with Eli. You do more for us than most men do for their families. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You are a wonderful man and I'm so thankful God gave me you. I know I make your life more adventurous than you'd like, but I also know you enjoy the adventure.

Also, if you are a single parent I applaud you. I have no idea how you do it! I couldn't even handle one weekend without my husband. I now hold single parents in a much higher regard than before. I've always respected a single parent but this weekend I was given a taste of your daily life and I admire each of you. Thank you for your willingness to do this without the help of a spouse.

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